I love you and I need you. I’m writing you this letter because I have problems, and I can see no way of correcting them without your cooperation. Unfortunately you’ve been forced to carry more then your share of our burden. That’s not your fault, it’s mine. You see, you haven’t fully understood them. In order for us to successfully share the burden, we must understand our horrible past and see how that past has shaped our present. Only then can we build a thriving future.
Chains around my neck; whips to my back; I lost my name, language, religion, and you. I watched helplessly as you were stolen away from me and raped of all our treasured memories. My inability to save you from the beast was a constant remainder of my mental and emotional castration. I couldn’t look you in the eye. I prayed you were pregnant with my child and when you were, I noticed that I have no genetic history of being a father and or provider nor teacher. As an African here in America our for fathers were used as breeders, once they laid a gang of children on one plantation they were moved to another. And the prostitution of the African proceeded to populate the world.
A treacherous plan is being executed on black men and is the reason why so many of us are having children by different women. Truthfully after witnessing the birth of Tyjionne I would have never allowed another born until ready. This plan is to keep the majority of poor people mis-educated, misrepresented, misdirected and misjudged. Just if you didn’t know that the majority of Africans here on the western hemisphere are poor people, near poverty. This is the reason African men are heavily into the penal system, on drugs or alcohol, homeless or just plain trifling. According to “Mis-Education of the Negro”, written by Dr. Carter G. Woodson, the father of black history. The problem with holding down the Negro is easily solved. When you control a man’s thinking you do not have to worry about his actions… you do not have to send him to the back, he will go without being told.
Lincoln legislate the removal of the physical chains, not the mental ones. If he wanted to rectify the psychological damage, he couldn’t; that’s something we have to do for ourselves. True freedom is never given, it can only be taken, it’s my estimate that 40% of us either are unaware of the “mental chains” while another 20% have knowledge of the “mental chains” and have simply given up fight for their manhood. These “mental chains” manifest themselves as drug and alcohol abuse, criminal activity, womanizing, wife beating, couch potatoes, rioters, feeling of inferiority, low ambitions and a lack of desire for knowledge of our history.
My Beautiful Nubian Sisters, you are in a tough predicament because when it comes to finding an upstanding Black Man with character and backbone, the odds appear to be against you. To get what you need, out of a Man you must become an excellent judge of character and potential. Yes I’ve made mistakes and bad choices and I’m righting the mistakes of yesterday and overcoming the adversity of today.
My advice to you is to please judge use by our spirits; not by where I’m at, but by where I’m going. Get in touch with my spirits, and let’s commit to each other. When we are committed to the advancement of our people, then we have another thread that will help bind us through the rough spots – a thread that will help us help each other to grow and flourish despite the odds. My Nubian Sister, when I ask you to be my women. I want you to be my spiritual partner, the mother of my children and my lover. I need you to help me become the man I envision being and vice versa. We can make it through compromise, commitment, love and sense of humor!
The resurrection of the Black Man means prosperity for Black people in America. I was created to love, protect and cherish you and our daughter too come. It is my duty to guide and direct our sons. Therefore, the onus is upon Black Men to help young Black Men and others. We must heal each other and teach our sons, daughters, cousins and neighbors children of our glorious African history. We must teach them of the power God has given them and the unlimited possibilities the world offers them. Contrary to popular belief we don’t need any more leaders. We need each other.
My sisters all I have at this time is my friendship we can learn to trust one another because without trust nothing can flourish nor grow.
Until that moment arrives; I remain.
Forever In Love
Aqili

Embarrassing

The most embarrassing day of my life had to have been the time I was transferred from the restraints of Sacramento county jail to the confinement of states prison. The cells build from hard rock cement with Iron rods in place with divided open space, made easy access where the watch dogs can hear and see everything that moves. Men of all different cultures were in the same cell along with me in the nude, awaiting the next step the ride to hell. The unpleasant smell cramped my mind from doing any kind of sitting. I was there in this condition for two hours and would do just about anything to have some kind of covering for my goose bumped body. Out of nowhere came a sound that was lovely to my ears “State Prison next”. My numbed feet wouldn’t move as fast as needed to get in front of the other inmates. Once we formed a line, we were told to be as close to one another so that our front and backs touch each other. Now that the line started moving, I would find out what the rush was all about. Every inmate was body checked. I had to hold on to my external organs with one hand and probe the inner of my mouth with my other hand. Without any kind of underwear I was given a paper suit and paper shoes. Then we waited another hour & a half to be shackled to each other. For the next move would be that infamous ride up state. I could never express my most intimate thoughts. I know now that crime can bring the worst embarrassing moments to a persons life.