Is there really a shortage of "Good Black Men," or is this guy rare?

[Bri'on]

Okay ladies, I know most women are not like this one, but are there really a shortage of good black men or is this guy just unique?

 

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh872c7sOpc7P8OXh0

 

[lamont debro]

We're not rare or hard to find. It's just so often that when a brother comes at a sister correctly he gets crapped on or mislabeled!!

[Bri'on]

Where tha ladies at...Where tha ladies at...if ya in tha house~SHOUT!

 

I was talking to some ladies the other day about this. They say brutha's smash top hard. Handcuffing them to a choke point then dogging them. So when someone approach them that's sincere, it's almost to good to be true.

 

Is there a womans point of view out there? 

[safirah chinwe]

i couldn't finish watching it. it was embarassing. her mentality is very child like. i understand why younger females reject the good guy but i strongly believe that a struggling single mom would not throw away an oppurtunity of marrying a "nice guy".

[Bri'on]

"i understand why younger females reject the good guy"

 

Can you elaborate, why would a younger female reject the good guy?

safirah chinwe said:

i couldn't finish watching it. it was embarassing. her mentality is very child like. i understand why younger females reject the good guy but i strongly believe that a struggling single mom would not throw away an oppurtunity of marrying a "nice guy".

[safirah chinwe]

their curiosity for the bad boy needs to be killed. there's this mystery about the bad boy (something about the excitement or danger of their company, i know it sounds silly). some of us grow up and realize they're overrated, some of us never do. mature women appreciate the value of a man that is respectful and so that women aired still needs some maturing to do.

[Bri'on]

Thank you for being honest.

 

I think being impetus is a normal stage in life, like you said though, some folks live it longer than others. It's also about the glamor and the fame that come with being the girlfriend of the "Bad Boy!" The parties, the gossip, the drama...fun isn't it. LoL. I understand, it's human nature and attraction.

 

I don't know if anyone can kill the curiosity, hopefully, young lady's will at least think about the possibilities. Until then...Cyndi Lauper said it best "girls just wanna have fun!" 

 

What is the Black Woman's definition of "a good Black Man?" I'm sure you have a few girlfriend's that talk about what they like or prefer. What are the top 5 must's a Black man should display?

safirah chinwe said:

their curiosity for the bad boy needs to be killed. there's this mystery about the bad boy (something about the excitement or danger of their company, i know it sounds silly). some of us grow up and realize they're overrated, some of us never do. mature women appreciate the value of a man that is respectful and so that women aired still needs some maturing to do.

[Kari Gipson]

There is not a shortage of good men. Women need to understand a good man may not necessarily show up in the "package" you want, but he will definitely show up. Women have to be mature enough to see it, and be prepared and ready when he presents himself. I understand women do not want to toss their list of must-haves; but at some point you need to be able to discern a quality man without a list or preconceived notions of what a man should be. Let a man be a man, and know your role as a woman. I have witnessed women choosing men based on social circles, clothes, education, etc. None of it has anything to do with finding your life partner.

[lamont debro]

i totally agree w/u

Kari Lindsey said:

There is not a shortage of good men. Women need to understand a good man may not necessarily show up in the "package" you want, but he will definitely show up. Women have to be mature enough to see it, and be prepared and ready when he presents himself. I understand women do not want to toss their list of must-haves; but at some point you need to be able to discern a quality man without a list or preconceived notions of what a man should be. Let a man be a man, and know your role as a woman. I have witnessed women choosing men based on social circles, clothes, education, etc. None of it has anything to do with finding your life partner.

[safirah chinwe]

i ran to the bible for the must haves. i believe spiritual warfare has caused the shortage.

1. fear of the lord (humility).

2. knowledge of self (past and present).

3. ability to protect and lead his family (loving). 

4. ability to achieve goals (through endurance and vision).

5. desire to help others.

honestly, for the exception of 3 i think black women should do the same as well.

Bri'on said:

Thank you for being honest.

 

I think being impetus is a normal stage in life, like you said though, some folks live it longer than others. It's also about the glamor and the fame that come with being the girlfriend of the "Bad Boy!" The parties, the gossip, the drama...fun isn't it. LoL. I understand, it's human nature and attraction.

 

I don't know if anyone can kill the curiosity, hopefully, young lady's will at least think about the possibilities. Until then...Cyndi Lauper said it best "girls just wanna have fun!" 

 

What is the Black Woman's definition of "a good Black Man?" I'm sure you have a few girlfriend's that talk about what they like or prefer. What are the top 5 must's a Black man should display?

safirah chinwe said:

their curiosity for the bad boy needs to be killed. there's this mystery about the bad boy (something about the excitement or danger of their company, i know it sounds silly). some of us grow up and realize they're overrated, some of us never do. mature women appreciate the value of a man that is respectful and so that women aired still needs some maturing to do.

[Bri'on]

Right On! If you stacked 10 brutha's in a room, how many do you know with these must's(father, brother, cousin, uncle, friend and lover alike)?

safirah chinwe said:

i ran to the bible for the must haves. i believe spiritual warfare has caused the shortage.

1. fear of the lord (humility).

2. knowledge of self (past and present).

3. ability to protect and lead his family (loving). 

4. ability to achieve goals (through endurance and vision).

5. desire to help others.

honestly, for the exception of 3 i think black women should do the same as well.

Bri'on said:

Thank you for being honest.

 

I think being impetus is a normal stage in life, like you said though, some folks live it longer than others. It's also about the glamor and the fame that come with being the girlfriend of the "Bad Boy!" The parties, the gossip, the drama...fun isn't it. LoL. I understand, it's human nature and attraction.

 

I don't know if anyone can kill the curiosity, hopefully, young lady's will at least think about the possibilities. Until then...Cyndi Lauper said it best "girls just wanna have fun!" 

 

What is the Black Woman's definition of "a good Black Man?" I'm sure you have a few girlfriend's that talk about what they like or prefer. What are the top 5 must's a Black man should display?

safirah chinwe said:

their curiosity for the bad boy needs to be killed. there's this mystery about the bad boy (something about the excitement or danger of their company, i know it sounds silly). some of us grow up and realize they're overrated, some of us never do. mature women appreciate the value of a man that is respectful and so that women aired still needs some maturing to do.

[Bri'on]

That being said, do you find love or does love find you?

Kari Lindsey said:

There is not a shortage of good men. Women need to understand a good man may not necessarily show up in the "package" you want, but he will definitely show up. Women have to be mature enough to see it, and be prepared and ready when he presents himself. I understand women do not want to toss their list of must-haves; but at some point you need to be able to discern a quality man without a list or preconceived notions of what a man should be. Let a man be a man, and know your role as a woman. I have witnessed women choosing men based on social circles, clothes, education, etc. None of it has anything to do with finding your life partner.

[Kari Gipson]

Well it is my belief you should make yourself available to  find love.. run into love. You can't find a job by sitting on your couch everyday. The same can be said of love. You won't find it sitting on your couch every Saturday and Sunday. I know many Christians say wait on the Lord, but I am sure the Lord ain't telling you to sit on the couch either! I say this in a joking manner and not one of disrespect.

 

In all honesty, women need to learn to live and explore. Go to the movies alone! Travel alone! Go to networking events ALONE! The same goes for church. Take the time to worship alone. It is okay to hang with your girls, but a man is more willing to approach when you are alone. Don't hang with the girls every weekend, roll out solo and see what happens! If you want love, you need to take action. I am not saying be desperate, but any man will tell you there is nothing wrong with looking. Just don't turn your heart's desire for love into a sickness, i.e. desperation.

 

It's all a careful balance of living (having your own interests and hobbies), being available, and being open to receiving. Don't chase. Just be the flower God created you to be, and you will meet the right man.